Avatar

Avatar

 Seen on an Imax screen, Manchester,  in its last showing on a Thursday to a near full audience.

How worthless a review of “Avatar” would be. You’ve all seen it, likely more than once. I can tell you that you should probably avoid picking it up when it hits home video on Earth Day because it will only be 2-D and it will be barebones. But you will probably pick it up. I could tell you to also not pick up the holiday SPECIAL EDITION (2D, with the features) if you plan on diving into home 3D in 2011 when “Avatar 3D” will be released, but why bother. Most of you will spend quite a bit of money still on this little tiny film.

One thing that can be said about it, that I haven’t said since a Terence Malik filmis that it is what theatres are for and that I will forgo the home video purchase because you really have to see his films on the big screen. But who knows even about that. Malik’s film can now be enjoyed on Blu Ray on tremendous Plasma Screens at a quality close to what I barked on about at the theatre. So now I can watch it at home. So who knows how we will be watching “Avatar” in 2015.

Well, there’s a good chance we might not. Sure this film is great, in its creation of a new world, but it doesn’t have much to offer in terms of story. If technology does catch up, somebody might latch the beauty of “Avatar’s” landscapes to a story worth telling.

Do you remember a little film by the name of “Jurassic Park” that came out in 1993 and was all the rage due to what it did with the dinosaurs? When was the last time you visited that Park? Perhaps that’s because the movie moves kind of slow once the awe inspiring technology ceases to, well awe. How long can you watch a veggie-saurus chew on plants amazed at its existence before you grow bored that all it is doing is chewing on plants?

And should this technology catch all the way up and become standard? I sort of hope not. And I think I may be right. Due to “Avatar’s” success, everything is now 3-D. Kevin Smith’s next flick will probably in 3-D. Just like all the monster movies in the 50s started going that way. And then that batch in the late 70’s/80’s…get the picture? Hollywood likes money, and it will do what it thinks it should do to get it. There is actually a traffic jam in 3D theatres in America today. There are too few 3Ds screens to properly support the output. You go, Hollywood! Pretty soon, you’re kids are gonna go, “Aw, mom…the glasses again.” What do you mean kids, you actually just want a good story?

Ok..not fair, I’m just ranting. But you all saw “Avatar” twice. I know because Cameron called me upset saying I was the only one left and asked why I hadn’t yet seen it. Hell, I went to the last IMAX screening, and it was still packed. I wondered how many people were seeing it for the first time. Me.

It is good. Is it great? I don’t know. I enjoyed the Hell out of the world Cameron created. What was the story? I don’t know. Something about something. But, hey, it is gorgeous and like a good amusement ride. Please, kids, seriously…if you’re depressed after leaving the world, just try going the fuck outside though. Spring is here.

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