Oh, how I wish I wanted to make a capitol “I” Independent film. They’re very cookie cooker, kind of assembly line films now, and I think I could make a damn good one that would look as good as the one you saw before, and about as good as the one you saw after it.

We’d start with a quirky convo type beginning. It won’t really have anything to do with the story, but it will be a bit oddball. Some awkward silence and the like. Then, of course the title sequence. We’ll cue some old rock music our producer opened up his purse for. Of course, since we’re independent in name only, we’ll have some marquee names in the film, say Alec Baldwin, a Culkin or two, Jill Hennessey, Timothy Hutton, Cynthia Nixon. Ok, that sounds good.

Next we should probably make it dreary and remove much of the color. We’ll use a lot of handheld camera, but not the war handheld kind, but the kind that suggest independent. We’ll need a lot more quirky dialogue. We don’t want it to be too original; it should appear to be able to come from any independent movie. Ok, let’s add that to the mix.

Ah, but it’s got to be personal. So let’s put it in the past, the 80’s, or so, ok? So it’ll be like my personal story of when I grew up. Lyme disease was coming into being then, so we’ll put that in there as a point of relevance. Other than that, the period should play almost no part. In fact, we’ll give the Culkin kid a war background so it is prescient even today!

Wow, if we can find a way to add a lot of Yellow to the mix, I think we’re done here.

Yeah, too bad I don’t want to make a movie like that.

And it’s too bad these filmmakers did, although movies like that get made, so maybe that’s why they did. Because it is a good movie, with a great, cathartic, quirky (in a good way), beautiful ending which leaves us off on the right note. But I almost didn’t make it there. You know, because I was having déjà vu of “The Savages” or something.

“Lymelife” does get something right about personally growing up. The first half is like your teen years where you’re posing and trying to fit in and be cool and all that. The second half is like that cool period where you discover who you are and what you have to offer and you form your identity.

Let’s hope this dude’s next film is like the next stage, where we see him comfortable in his own skin, cause I think dude has talent. “Lymelife,” stick it out. It could be worse. It could be “Swing Vote”

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